Pregnancy is often spoken about as a magical and joyful time. But for many women, especially those experiencing complications or classed as high risk, it can also be frightening, overwhelming, and emotionally exhausting.
During my pregnancy, I was classed as high risk. This was something I had experienced in two previous pregnancies, and I also have health conditions that placed me into this category again.
While I understood why extra monitoring was necessary, being labelled high risk brought back a lot of fear and uncertainty. Past experiences had left me with ongoing anxiety and difficulties trusting my body and the pregnancy process.
Frequent hospital appointments, scans, and medical discussions made the anxiety feel constant. Even when appointments were routine, the build-up beforehand often felt overwhelming.
💛 Understanding my anxiety and triggers
When I reached out for support, my midwife took the time to really listen to how I was feeling. She helped me understand that my anxiety didn’t come from nowhere — it was closely linked to past pregnancy experiences, fear of the unknown, and feeling like I had little control.
Together, we worked through my personal anxiety triggers and created a plan to help me manage appointments and hospital visits more safely.
I was also referred to the pregnancy mental health team, who helped me understand where my anxiety stemmed from and reassured me that anxiety during pregnancy is far more common than people realise.
🌼 Support, coping tools, and what helped me most
One of the most important things I learned is that no pregnant woman should ever be expected to simply “deal with” anxiety on her own. You do not need to be classed as high risk, and you do not need a consultant to receive support — help is there for everyone.
My midwife helped me learn practical tools to manage anxious moments, including breathing exercises and grounding techniques, such as looking for five things around me in different colours.
Alongside this, I developed my own coping strategies through trial and error:
- Taking a small handheld fan when anxiety made me feel hot and flushed
- Carrying a fidget in my pocket (I used to feel silly, but it helped me stay grounded)
- Letting reception staff know when I felt anxious and asking for a quieter room
- Planning ahead for appointments, especially when attending alone
- Arriving early so I didn’t feel rushed
- Bringing comfort items with me
I also learned that it is okay to cry and worry. Anxiety during pregnancy does not mean you are weak — it means you care deeply.
Reminding myself that the anxiety usually eased once the appointment ended helped me get through the build-up.
🤍 Learning that I had choices
One of the biggest turning points for me was learning that I had a choice in my birth plan.
Having had my other two children when I was younger, I didn’t realise that personalised birth plans were an option. The fear of another vaginal birth caused significant anxiety, and simply knowing that my concerns could be discussed — and that alternatives could be explored — gave me a sense of control I hadn’t felt before.
Being involved in decisions helped reduce my anxiety and reminded me that my voice mattered.
🌸 Who you can reach out to if you’re struggling with anxiety in pregnancy (UK)
If you are feeling anxious during pregnancy, please know that support is available — and you deserve to receive it.
You do not have to cope alone.
🤍 Your community midwife
Your community midwife is often the first person you can speak to. They can:
- listen to your concerns
- document your anxiety in your maternity notes
- offer reassurance
- make referrals if needed
Even mentioning your anxiety briefly is enough to start the conversation.
🤍 Your GP
Your GP can:
- assess your mental health
- offer emotional support
- refer you to local perinatal mental health services
- coordinate care alongside your midwife
You do not need to wait until your next appointment to ask for help.
🤍 Perinatal mental health team
Many areas in the UK have a dedicated perinatal mental health team. They can offer:
- emotional support
- coping strategies
- anxiety management tools
- understanding of pregnancy-related fears
You do not need to be in crisis to be referred — their role is to help early.
🤍 Your maternity unit
You can also contact your maternity unit directly if anxiety affects your ability to attend appointments or scans. Staff may be able to:
- arrange quieter waiting areas
- allow extra appointment time
- note anxiety on your records
- support reasonable adjustments
💕 A message to anyone feeling anxious in pregnancy
If you are struggling with anxiety during pregnancy — especially if this is new to you please remember this:
You are not failing.😊
You are not overreacting.🥰
And you are not alone.🤗
Needing support does not make you weak. It makes you human.
With the right understanding, tools, and reassurance, anxiety can become something that is managed — not something that controls you.
Pregnancy can be frightening, especially when trust has been shaken before. But with support, compassion, and the right care, it is possible to feel safe again.
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